CategoryWriting

My newest project is set to release thirty-one (31) days from now, and every day leading up to the release, a small sneak peek!

“No one prepared me
for how long survival looms –
how the days return without apology
and drag empty sunrises behind them.
I moved because stopping
felt like folded surrender,
and they never told me
what to do with the quiet,
when the screaming soured and stopped,
and nothing took its place.

I’m what happens when dying takes too long –
a lifetime spent outliving myself.“

Excerpt from “Black Butterflies”

More information coming soon.

There is a haunting dissonance you feel when writing about your personal trauma through the spyglass of a poem.

Nothing is as real as it should be. Nothing is as solid, or simple.

It’s like cutting a self-healing mat, over and over and over. It’s like brushing up against a wasp’s nest made of tacks and thorns, but never feeling the sting.

It’s like saying goodbye to someone long gone.

I don’t know if it helps me to process what has happened in my yesterdays, or if it just gives me some form of solace at the lectern of life. But it does something.

And that’s more than I was doing on my own.

Three years, this September, I will have been in therapy with a man just like me, while nothing at all like me. It’s a paradox of shouldn’ts, but it works, somehow. I try not to look too closely at why, in fear of unraveling the intrusive.

I have darkness in my rearview. A cloud of despair and desolation enumerates a sallow sorrow that only time could pretend to heal. And there has been time. Years. Decades. And the pain of betrayal’s sting is just as sweet and sour as it was all those mornings ago.

So I write.

I write to remember, and I write to forget.

I write.

Until it feels a little less wrong.

Well, today’s launch day didn’t go precisely as planned. But at least the website facelift is complete – for now, minus some minor changes.

Working on three different story universes and a dark poetry collection that I am hoping to release before the end of August, if I feel the time is right. One of the universes is for school, which will be with me for some time, and the other two are just in development for general writing usage. AE, EN, and SF. EN is the school one, so it’s the most likely to see some daylight.

A small excerpt from the rough draft:

From Chapter One: Cycle E-01

“He turned back to his console, a cable snaking up and out of his third hand, from the arm protruding near his hip, and latched into the port on the console, and a soft chime chirped from the station.  His eye flecks flickered from green-blue to violet, and his facial mechanics shifted, almost relaxed.  The trombone softly continued to play.”

Excited over the story, and will be working tonight on the next viewpoint character, who has already been introduced in passing. Here’s hoping it gets some eyes someday.

Also, I ordered more pens. Because I have a problem.

I said years ago I would never write another public blog.

Well, oops.

Talked myself out of this about six times already today, but it’s time. Not time for the world exactly, but time for me. Maybe that’s enough. Maybe it’s nowhere near.

So, what is going to be here? Why should you bother coming back if you found this page somehow?

I’m a writer. And I think I’m a damn good one. And you may want in on that.

I’m also currently a Junior at Southern New Hampshire University, going for my Bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing. I think my sister would roll her eyes at that. Maybe I do too, honestly. But some things, we’re just made for.

I write poetry – some of it light, most of it dark and trauma-centric.

I write science fiction – some of it futuristic, some of it not.

I write fantasy – some with dragons, some with more dragons, some with needs-more-dragons.

I write essays on the writing process, and finding the right words when no one is listening.

But most important, I’m just a guy trying to hone his craft and talents into something that might be able to bring something better into the world. Something that will last and endure. Something less shit than most the other stuff that goes in and out day after day.

Hope you stick around. Or at least drop by when it’s the right time.